Sorry fan.  Maybe fans.  It’s been a wonderfully horrid time of year already.  Love the sports this time of year, with baseball, MLS, playoffs, fall college sports going to tournament action (unless you are football).  But work has been more insane than the usual craziness.  But enough of that non-movie talk.

But lo!  Still not talking about Bond.  This was the first midnight showing I’ve been to since Dark Knight, and the first time I saw a movie twice within 24 hours of its release since the final chapter of the Bourne series.  But I don’t mention this curious to strike up everyone’s favorite bar argument, who would win in a fight, Bourne, Batman, or Bond (though the alliterative bad-assness of it all does still make me giddy).  It’s wondering what makes the midnight showing a magical experience.

Maybe I’m just slow to the epiphany these days, but I don’t think I’d want to see a midnight showing (had I been given the chance) for many of my favorite movies.  I’d love to see all of them in a packed movie house, sharing that communal experience with my brother and sister movie go-ers; laughing together, crying together and leaving the place is a loud murmur talking to strangers about this moment.  But its just plain not nerdy enough.

Midnight showings are for the dorks.  It’s when it is safe to bust out you klingon dialect, elven bows, lightsabers, and debate with strangers if Quantam is the new SPECTRE, or something completely different.  People can bond over movies during the matinee performance, of course, but you already have a pretty good idea what to expect when you go to a midnight showing, so who needs to bother hiding vulnerability when that character you’ve known for 3 movies dies?   You let it and put your head on the shoulder of a robot friend saying, “The tears aren’t coming,” through emotional gasps for air.  All this to say, I love midnight showings.  They are my natural habitat.

The new Bond has been reviewed alot already, recently.  But now that Twilight has everyone’s attention, it seemed I could maybe write something myself.  When I left it the first time, I gave it 3/5.  When I went back 18 hours later with a bunch of people that I work with, the fluxing grade ended up at…3/5.

For one, you know its a bad sign when you leave a James Bond movie, and within 5 minutes of walking out, you are trying to figure out what happened in an action sequence.  Don’t understand a plot point and why super spy ends up in Peru?  That’s pretty much always been understandable and accepted.   But an action portion?  C’mon.  When I went back the second time, I had to pay particular attention to the opening chase, and boat scene to figure out just how exactly Bond gets away from people and accomplishes his goal.  Action that isn’t mindless has a place…but not in a James Bond movie.  Give us crazy schemes involving the gold in Fort Knox, anything…just don’t complicate Bond pulverizing nameless henchmen.

Another issue with the action scenes…I’d love the time and resources to break this thing down frame by frame…anyone else feel like 90% of the action scenes were done in .5-2 second shots and always close-up?  Sure, that is a component of the action scene….but we need the large panning shots as well.  We need the prolonged grimaces and grins.  Variety, the spice of life and action movies.  The quick close-ups are great when I’m on the edge of my seat…but you gotta get me to the edge of my seat first.

So that all being said, and that Bond movies can typically be graded on a scale of attractive women and action, it would seem there isn’t much here that even gets it to 3 out of 5…Jewels?  I should come up with a quirky score system.  Anyway, let us go with the attractive women aspect before we get to…dare I say it?  The plot of the movie.  Oh, and that other big score that I’m somewhat scared to open in fear of talking too much, Daniel Craig.

Somewhat SPOILER esque here…but he doesn’t sleep with the Bond girl.  He (presumably) sleeps with an attractive girl who goes by Fields…but the all important poster adorning girl has tender moments of emotion.  For the second time in two movies, we see Bond comforting the distraught Bond girl through a rough time by means that aren’t sex.  Speaking of Fields, I’m not crazy, there is no way that the final scene we see with her is exactly the same shot we saw in Goldfinder. A tip of the cap to past modes, or a slap in the face to say “We’ve accomplished something here that is as good as we’ve ever been.”  Anyway, the way this Bond works with women…it works for this Bond.  And I think the phrase “this Bond” is one I’m about to wear out…for that’s where all of this starts really working for me.

This is Bond’s…what…22nd incarnation?  I’m pretty sure I remember making the 21st Bond blackjacky-casino note in my head, but maybe I just memorized it all incorrectly.  If you keep the formula the same, everyone cried “Stale!” and condemns you.  You attempt to change it up, and you’ve ruined things by “Tweaking a classic!”  So what’s left to do?  To me, its change the formula, because eventually, people will forget they didn’t like it.  Well, of course, only change it if its to my liking.  And this Bond is very acceptable so far.

I loved Casino Royale, first Bond movie I bought in a long time.  But I thought it only worked because it was Bond’s first mission.  Craig was a “blunt instrument,” who didn’t care about his alcohol so long as it was in his system.  But I’m now convinced after round two the Craig was a fantastic choice to play everyone’s favorite British spy.  He’s different, and that is ok.  We’ll get through this together.  Craig won’t act like action scenes are a nuisance that come between shaggings.  He’s not suave or cool enough to be bored by fights and have interesting ways to kill off #2 (though that I am kinda sad about…where IS #2?  The Jaws, Oddjobs, and Knik-knaks of the world were always delightful).  None of this is to act as though he isn’t cool and collected in his own right…its just Craig makes Bond a rather flair-less fellow.  And what’s so bad about that?  I think the scene that sums it up…well I won’t spell all of it out for you, as I’m sure your opinions will differ, but conjure the opera scene to mind.  Think of the way Connery, Brosnan, dare I say Dalton would have done their job atop the scaffolding.  Different, but all effective of course.

Our Bond doesn’t need ridiculous gizmos either.  This is ENTIRELY WELCOME.  Two major reasons.  The real Q, rest in peace, is dead. If Sean Connery was irreplacable in everyone’s mind…I feel they should have been more horrified sticking with the series to see John Cleese become the new technological wiz.  The other major reason?  Where the hell can you possibly go after invisible cars?  The gadgets were cool and fun, but you’ve hit the end of your line with invisible cars.

A note on our Bond and his suaveness worthy of mention…he doesn’t deliver wit to the bad guys as often, but its still there.  The “dead end” line certainly fit Bond.  There’s a great line about handcuffs.  And my personal favorite when he calls Felix, “You should just say CIA, Felix.  I got this number by asking the taxi driver where you were.”  Yes, our Bond is a bit darker and grittier, but those charms are still there.

But this Bond only works with the right plot…a plot with substance.  And we get substance here.  No ray guns…the war waged here involves resources and politics.  Because governments CAN’T always work with nice people.  Well actually, I suppose that’s a whole different topic.  But we see M (Judi Dench, I don’t care how old you are, you are a fox) get to really show some character.  We get conspiracy.  We get secrets that are tied to other secrets that are tied to allies.  We get the ambiguous Quantum…that as M so says…”When people say ‘we’ve got people everywhere‘ you expect it to be hyperbole. Florists say it all the time.”  Now I’m on the edge of my seat…it’s a plot you can sink your teeth into.  Sometimes it works (006 in Goldeneye working with Russians anyone?) and sometimes it doesn’t (The Baron in Live and Let Die).  This works.

And as our Bond disappears, mission accomplished, Canadian and Bolivian spies left un-shagged.  Goldfinger tips-of-the-cap.  Mathis, Felix, M…so much worked.  But, I will make this a complete oreo, and end with the bad again.  You can’t be better than a 3/5 Bond movie if your action scenes don’t work.  So c’mon Director, lets fix this, and continue this new Bond tradition.  I’ll be there at 12:01AM.

How’s that for your “measure of peace?”